Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

This topic is to determine whether or not you would survive a zombie invasion. The results may vary and it does not determine how long you would survive it. I would print this article out and put it in one of those home emergency safety kits for future use. It would help a lot and you would have a better chance of surviving. Answer these questions before reading the tips that follow them. Only you can determine if you can survive this. If not, just let a zombie bite you and move on.

1.Do you have to depend on other people or are you more independent? 

If you depend on other people to keep you from going mentally insane you would be less likely to survive a zombie apocalypse. That does not mean you won't survive it. Traveling with a partner or in a small group can also give you a better chance of surviving. If your hiding place is raided with zombies you can use the other people as bait and recruit more worms later. Try not to travel in large groups and get rid of anybody who might give you away. Pets and small children should be left behind. 

2. How much luggage do you pack when going on vacation or sleeping over at a friends house?

Try not to pack more than what you need. During the apocalypse you don't clothing, cake, laptops, or anything else that would hold you back. Extra luggage will weigh you down because you will be moving from place to place. The only things you would need to bring is canned food, a battery powered or solar-powered radio, a machete (or anything with a blade), and some kind of gun. The radio will keep you updated on what is happening around you and help you find safe places to hide.

3. Do you know how to call 911? 

If you know how to contact 911 you can get help from the local police and maybe even the military if you know how to get in touch with them. Any military or government base can keep you lasting for months. They have armed protection for when you run out of ammo. Be careful! This will keep you lasting for a long time (maybe even a year) but soon civilization will eventually collapse. Maybe if you get military assistance first, you can learn to defend yourself during that period and eventually destroy any zombie that tries to eat your brain. 

4. What do you usually wear during the day?

Don't wear a t-shirt and jeans. Wear protective gear and make sure most of your body is covered with a thick padding. That way, if a zombie tries to bite you the infection will not enter the skin. If a zombie does bite your skin amputate that body part immediately! If any zombies are present find a safe place and cut that body part off!

After reading this you should be well informed and the zombies should not get to you. (This is for entertainment purposes ONLY. There most likely will not be a Zombie Apocalypse in the future. But still, If I were you I would be prepared just in case that does happen. I am usually wrong.)

ADHD DINOSAUR

Today was weird. It was the first day of school and I entered my classroom. It was weird because I did not know one single face in the classroom. So everything was quiet with almost limited talking. I felt like I was strapped to a chair and my mouth was duct taped. I wanted to scream and run around but I couldn't because I didn't know anybody. I keep changing moods every second. One second I'm mad... the next is happy.... the next is tired.... the next is sad. I feel like my brain was hot wired with a monster energy drink.

It seems that I'm watching a show about turtles and the turtles won't speed up so I have to challenge them to a race so I can run. when I win I'd be like, "HA! LOOK AT HOW EXCITING AND  ENERGETIC I AM! I AM A CRAZY GENIUS! YOU OWE ME THE ONE MILLION DOLLARS YOU BET!" Then after that I would get rich and live the rest of my life in an apartment in the east end and traveling somewhere different every Sunday until my money runs out. But if the turtle doesn't pay me I would have to sue him and I would STILL get the money! I'd be all like, "WHAT NOW! HA!" I forget about what I was talking about.

Plus, my mom enrolled me in counseling but I don't need it. I am perfectly fine! I DON'T NEED COUNSELING! I am not depressed. Nor am I crazy!!!! (Did i use that right??)

Peace out!!!

P.S. There was a dinosaur monster Spider Cricket in our bathroom and he was all ADHD and uncoordinated. He kept jumping around like, "Oh, look at me I am better than you so I will mock you as long as I am in here!" But he kept hopping and running around and bumping into the wall, and the toilet, and the trash can.

P.P.S. I hate that cricket!

Godzilla loves grilled Cheese!

This is what I look like when I don’t get at least nine hours of sleep.... Picture a carnivorous dinosaur that has gotten an over-dose of monster energy drink with blood shot eyes and a never ending thirst for dead llamas and Pikachus. It feels guilty about eating Pokemon but it cannot stop eating Pokemon because Pokemon just taste too good to stop eating. Pretty scary....

When the morning comes I am all hyped up and excited. For what reason, I don’t know. That day just seems like something you should get excited about. But I am lazy and don't feel like getting up so the Dinosaur just mopes around the house eating everything up because the cabinet seems to be full of the Llamas and Pikachus. When I actually decide to  go outside and start doing things I get overwhelmed by everything I am seeing. The sun hates me because the night before all I did was stare into a black pit of empty nothingness. It taunts me and I have to go find a nice dark and shady spot where the sun cannot find me. I am all like, "HA! I OWN YOU, SUN! YOU CANNOT TAUNT ME ANY LONGER!"

Animals and insects will also fill the need to make fun of me so they like to flitter and crawl around me and make wierd noises because they want to make my eardrums explode and turn into ashes. This gives me an annoying headache so I have to hurry and run away from the shade. I also have to run back inside because I don’t want the sun to make fun of my awesome vampire-ness. When I finally learn to ignore everyone who is mocking me I decide to go to a friends house. There we end up watching the simpsons with my friends dad. Then after a while, everything starts to get fuzzy and makes no sense. Then my brain decides that it is time for me to go to sleep but I don’t want to because I am in denial and think that I am fine and that I can last throughout the whole day without getting phsyco and have a brain defunction. Then I fall asleep on my friends couch and drool all over myself.

I wake up and my friend comes back into the living room. Everything goes to the beginning. The only difference is that I actually feel the tiredness and I only glomp around and stare mindlessly at the wall. My friend offers to take me home and I accept. On the way home the sun feels the need to taunt me again and I feel like I am melting into the asphalt of the road. I cower and duck and cower even more and then the animals come back but this time they are armed with bazookas and grenades. I run!

I leave my friend behind who is all wierd and confused looking and I run all the way to my house. I cannot walk anymore so I have to drag myself through the hallway with my nails clawing to the floor. I end up passing out on the floor before I make it to bed. Nobody notices that I am there and when I wake up I am filled with lots of anger and rage for no reason and am forced to take P.M.S pills because I am too emotional. The pills do no calm down my mood or irritability so I am a giant godzilla who takes down the city and after that is happy and just so satisfied that I have to reward myself with a grilled cheese.